YOU know considerably more about News International than Rupert Murdoch and his son James, it has been confirmed.
Asked when he knew that News International had paid people to keep shtum about the phone scandal thingy, Rupert Murdoch said: "Do they make those inflatable chairs with the built-in cup holders?"
After a 14-minute pause, he added: "I like those."
James Murdoch said: "Mr Chairman, I would just like to say that I have no direct knowledge of me so I can't speak to that, but I am happy to find out who I am and get back to you in writing."
Throughout the dramatic hearing it became increasingly clear that Britain's biggest media company is run by a confused, deaf and possibly drunk old man and an extra from The West Wing.
Tom Logan, from Peterborough, said: "If what I have just seen is a true reflection of the management of News International then I'm surprised the fucking satellites don't fall out of the sky and my copy of the Sunday Times doesn't explode in my face.
"Unless, of course, they're a pair of lying bastards."
He added: "Can I just say that with all the talk of 'back doors' and 'oral advice' the whole thing was actually very sexual. Certainly a bit more sexual than I was expecting."